coxblocked: (Default)
[personal profile] coxblocked
Name: John Michael "J.D." Dorian
Series: Scrubs
Age: Late-20s
Job: Relationship Counselor
Canon: Scrubs is an American TV comedy-drama focusing on the lives of the doctors, interns, residents, nurses and so forth of Sacred Heart Hospital. Our hero and narrator of the story is J.D., as he provides us with insights and hilarious crack-filled daydreams into the inner workings of the public hospital system, the personal lives of he and his friends, and sometimes even life itself. They may also occasionally include rainbows, unicorns and whiskers on kittens, but hey, who's to judge?

Daydreams aside, you shouldn't get the impression that J.D. is an incompetent doctor-- far from it. He is often shown to be passionate to the point of nerdiness about his work, though this does leave his sensitive side blindingly obvious to all those around him. You would think this would make him an instant hit with single women, but he pretty much fails in that area too. It's not his fault that he's a little dysfunctional at worst and quirky at best though, right? Narrating your own life and continuing to look up to the one person who constantly verbally abuses you is a perfectly normal, every day thing. ... Well, for J.D., anyway.

Sample Post:

... It was on that fateful day that I realised what the swamps of Louisiana were really like. Dark, dangerous, and... you know, I think I saw a porno like this once. Or was it a dream? But I mean, you've got the gorillas in tutus doing the swan dive into the swamp inhabited by a tentacle monster, and oh... but where is the chocolate Santa? It just isn't right. I mean, failing that, there should at least be three giant sentient flower-aliens threatening to take over the world with the Eiffel Tower looming in the background. I'm still not really clear on what it all means, but I'm sure it's not that important. It's not as if anyone ever actually believes all that dream symbolism stuff anyway, right?

I'm not quite sure where the zombies come in yet, though. To be honest, at first I thought they were a little 80s B-movie, but you know what? I'm a deep man. I can see past all that to the real meaning beyond. Why, it's almost as if they're a beacon of light, calling out to me... a message from above, if you will. "John Dorian ... take heed! This is what your patients could become," you know, in the booming voice with the choir of angels and everything. Oh, but of course! It's so obvious! Now I know my true purpose here. My job at this poor, disease-ridden camp is to be... a relationship counselor?! Bzzt! J.D., J.D., paging Doctor John Dorian, you're needed in reality!

Haha, well now. Relationship counselor indeed. I can't deny that my... somewhat indefinable yet irresistable allure has led to many an entanglement. And okay, maybe a few of those ended badly, but those times were totally and completely never my fault. Mostly. Like that one time at band camp, with that girl... and her trumpet. But she was crazy, how was I supposed to know she had an unnatural yet somehow kind of sexy fixation on Mickey Mouse? I mean, I was willing to wear the ears and everything, but the tail was taking it a little too far. Anyway! That's not the point. The point is that I am the man for this job! Yeah! I can DO this! I am the RELATIONSHIP KING! Free relationships for everyone, courtesy of J.D.! ... Wait. I think there was something fundamentally wrong with that sentence.

Unfortunate wording errors aside, it's clear to me that just like that girl, this camp is in desperate need of a dashing young doctor such as myself to help heal its' wounds, be they relationship troubles or otherwise! You could almost say I'm like Superman, or a Jedi of sorts... saving the world, one hot and foxy damsel at a time! Oh yeah, I could get used to this.

... Uh. Pass on the zombie damsels, though. Unless they come covered in bubble wrap. Mmmm, bubble wrap.


Voting went here (64-3, 95.5%)


coxblocked: (Default)
John "J.D." Dorian

November 2008

232425 26272829

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 18th, 2017 03:28 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios